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    A Poem-ish thing I wrote

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    InsaÑЭ ŁighŦning
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    A Poem-ish thing I wrote

    Post  InsaÑЭ ŁighŦning on Mon Aug 02, 2010 12:45 pm

    I'm pretty sure it goes here Neutral
    I'm not that great a writer so bare with me...


    If my Time was Endless

    If my time was endless, I'd watch the sunrise ever morning, I'd stare at the sky, so blue.
    I'd share no thoughts of what I thought about you.


    If my time was endless, I'd treasure forever what I was lucky enough to hold, I wouldn't age, but oh the stories I would have told.

    If my time was endless, I'd chat with you forever, and, oh how our friendship would bloom, we'd chat about the little things we made up, me and you.

    If my time was endless we'd watch the stars at night, your hand, holding mine, how it would always feel so right.

    But alas, my time is not endless. My soul is quickly fading, these things just don't happen, oh, and I'm much too shy, I let the small things go by, and you will never know how I truly feel about you.
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    White Hollow
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    Re: A Poem-ish thing I wrote

    Post  White Hollow on Thu Aug 05, 2010 4:36 am

    avoid using of my time was endless so many times, 2/3 sound good but not in every phrase IMO
    Anyway keep up
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    Re: A Poem-ish thing I wrote

    Post  +Ab.stract on Thu Aug 05, 2010 5:36 am

    Endless here, endless there. Near no flow. If I had to rank, I'd say...Low Novice. Yea, I just ranked a piece of literature!

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